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March, 2006 Greetings, Welcome to your fr*ee monthly e-newsletter about living the solution...not the problem! Written and published by: Dr. Toby Silverton & Dr. Bev McLagan Sent to subscribers in Canada, U.S., U.K., the Middle East and Asia. Many thanks to everyone who forwards the newsletter on. We grow through your recommendations so please keep up the good work and forward this newsletter to a few friends and colleagues.
In This Issue: Go anywhere in this issue fast by clicking on a topic.
Well, went to insert the date for the newsletter and had to check twice to make sure it was actually supposed to be March! Where on earth did February go? Feels like we should be starting this newsletter off with the words, “Happy New Year”. It’s always amazing how time just moves on, and life just moves on, even when you feel like you are standing still or stuck in a revolving door. The last couple of months have really felt like that. An endless revolving door of legalities, emotions, frusrations, insights…and around we go again and again until dizziness sets in! Then just as suddenly the spinning stops. A robin sat on the patio just the other day, the crocuses are up, the tree outside is suddenly looking a little green, and we actually passed a cherry blossom tree yesterday that was deliciously pink. Time and life moves on. Then thoughts of our wonderful clients came to the forefront along wiith the realization that most of them were also dealing with life moving on: adopting a baby, having a baby, entering the dating scene again, leaving a marriage, embracing a new level of success in career, leaving a depleting career, becoming an empty nester, overcoming serious injury, completing university…there’s more, so much more, simply because life moves on. So many times we tell ourselves that we can’t move on, don’t know how, or don’t know the direction, and then just like the tree slowly budding we make a new goal, have a new dream, take the next breath, take the next step and our life has moved on. We need to realize at those times when we feel stuck in the mud that life is moving on with us or without us! We can determine the direction if we just know that we can. Sometimes it’s the attitudes we hold about ourself and others that are the obstacles to embracing our journey toward prosperity. Which got us thinking that success or prosperity or enlightenment, whatever you want to call it, is an inside job…it is a matter of transforming our consciousness. But how do we do that? Well, that’s exactly what we have been thinking about. Your subconscious power or the deeper meaning of jello. How many times have you heard or read in self-help books that you just need to “change the tapes” in your head. Sounds good, we’re heading to HMV! Hip-Hop, jazz, tango? Anything would sound better than the same old, same old. Raise your hands if you have tried “just loving yourself”; raise your hand if you have tried good old fashioned will-power…you too, huh? Well class, we are going to de-mystify “the tapes”. First, however, bear with us as we throw a little psycho-babble your way! Think of your mind as that 60’s phenomenon layered Jello! Remember that! Ok, we admit that we do. You whipped the stuff up and it miraculously would separate into 3 layers – don’t ask, who knows what they used to make it do that. But stick with the image--layer one clear and transparent, layer 2 slightly foamy, layer 3 (at the bottom) solid and milky. Now pretend the Jello is your mind. Humour us! First layer, clear and transparent, represents your conscious mind. You can see through it. Your conscious mind deals with and decides the day to day stuff. The conscious mind sorts through thoughts, makes decisions, weighs evidence, sets priorities and plans for your future. You directly control your conscious mind. Not so with the 2 nd foamy and slightly murky layer of Jello. Welcome to your subconscious mind. Your subconscious is the savings account for all your patterns of conscious thought that have recycled long enough in your conscious mind to eventually be deposited for long-term savings. Basically, any and all thoughts, worries, fears, beliefs, convictions and strongly felt desires that you have experienced over and over until it comes with a sense of “well that’s just who I am” or “that’s just how I think”, has landed and stayed in your subconscious mind. Scary isn’t it when you think of what you tell yourself? Now, layer 3. That’s the thick, can’t see through it, don’t know what’s in it, layer at the bottom. In fact, we don’t want to know what makes it dense. This is your unconscious. Unless something big, really big (a life shock moment) stirs it up it just stays inaccessible. And, we want it this way. If we are to know something from this layer it will somehow, eventually, make it’s way up through the layers until it is known. If we want to change patterns in our life, mental, emotional, or physical patterns, it’s layer #2 the subconscious that we are after. Your subconscious mind is like a picture gallery of all your conscious thought patterns collected over your entire lifetime. Your subconscious mind is the power base of your being, a centre of energy, and the real source of your creativity. Here’s a really important thing to know, unlike your conscious mind, your subconscious mind is completely subjective, it does not discriminate between good and bad, or right and wrong, all your repeated thoughts are treated and stored with equal importance. Another scary thought. It’s like having speed dial with the same set of numbers programmed in for years. As long as your needs and beliefs stay the same, everything works fine, and you hook up with the right response. But, what happens when your needs or beliefs change and you want to do something differently? Imagine, leaving all the phone numbers and names the same for years, regardless of how many times your contacts have moved or changed, and then wondering why you can’t reach the right number? For example, you tell yourself the same things over and over, like “why bother trying to lose weight I always just gain it back again”. When your conscious mind has heard the repetition enough times it deposits it into your subconscious savings account to be called up the next time a similar situation, need or trigger is felt. Over time your conscious mind actually forgets what’s been programmed, so many situations, with variations on a theme, evoke the same emotions and therefore behavioural responses from you. Think speed dial: thought occurs “would like to lose weight” speed dial #1 automatically connects with “ what’s the point, I’ve tried this before and I always fail”…of course, your subconscious is not only selective for negative thoughts, we can also have positive automatic responses dialled in. Change comes when a new and different thought, belief, or feeling, with a stronger emotional impact lands and resonates with your subconscious and replaces your original programmed response. With consciousness and practice, speed dial #1 becomes “you bet you can lose weight and keep it off”! And, boy, do we know clients who have been successful with this reprogramming! The moral of the story is - be aware of what you are saying to yourself. Here’s the good news bad news thing. Your subconscious doesn’t say “No” to you, it only says “Yes”. What your conscious mind dwells upon your subconscious accepts. The bad news is that a lot of programming, given our culture of criticism, is negative, and that’s not motivating. It is certainly not the best route to prosperity and success. The good news is you can modify and change your subconscious negativity. Our goal is to assertively program positive and growth enhancing thoughts. Sound like good old-fashioned “positive thinking”? You betcha and more, ‘cause now, you know HOW it works. Your conscious and subconscious mind must be in sync, in harmony. We don’t advocate simply ignoring your negative thoughts or beliefs, but we do suggest using these negatives for change and growth. So listen to them, take responsibility for them, and learn from them. It’s more than just mouthing a positive affirmation once in a while, it takes conscious and concerted effort. Go to Building Solutions and begin the work so that next time you hit #1 on speed dial you hear “you ARE a success!” 1) Take a few minutes and review your day today. Remember, the quality of your day will reflect your state of mind. Write a brief description of your day and then link your feelings and thoughts to it. 2) Are you aware of constantly talking to yourself? Take the next 2 minutes and write down all the thoughts that are going through your head…uncensored! 3) Sit in front of a clock and try not to think for 60 seconds. Practice this mind-quieting technique at least once a day. It will help you learn to focus your thoughts, not to mention the stress-reduction benefit. 4) Stop your chattering mind by saying “STOP” or “HOLD IT” to yourself when you find yourself stuck in a revolving door of thoughts. Then take 2 minutes and write down the thoughts that are going round and round. Identify the feeling behind the thought and see if you can recognize a pattern of thought. Once you’ve identified it, write out a positive substitution. Plaster this everywhere you can see it and say it to yourself and outloud at every opportunity. 5) You can actually re-program your subconscious mind by consciously repeating thought-goals that are proactive and life enhancing for a sufficient length of time. In so doing you are re-training your subconscious to produce that new thought-pattern. Remember, the subconcious is pretty impersonal and will feed back to you whatever you give it. Give yourself at least 2-3 weeks to work on a new thought-goal daily. If you want to continue living the solution, scroll down till you see the icon for the Free Companion Tool (the little hammer), then it’s simple - just click on the underlined link which will take you directly to the Free Stuff page on our website. There you will see the link to this month's companion tool, a great resource each month that you can collect. Choose to download it in either a Word document or a PDF. This month’s resource is called Your Belief System.
Before you go, don’t forget to click onto your Free Companion Tool for this issue called “Your Belief System ” so that you can begin to explore a new way of talking to yourself.
We thank you for being out there. We thank you for reading what we put forward in the world. There is lots of new stuff to come this year and we invite you to join us on this journey toward equilibrium and prosperity. If you would like to share any thoughts with us, we’d love to hear from you. Till next month…Embrace Life Toby and Bev You are free to use material from Live the Solution!® in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution including our website and email link. The copyright notice should read: "By Toby Silverton, PhD. and Bev McLagan, PhD. of Silverton McLagan Coaching. Contact: coach@livethesolution.com. To unsubscribe or change your email address, just go to www.livethesolution.com/lwiezine.html Did you enjoy receiving Live the Solution? If you did, please forward it to your friends and associates. We would like to hear from you, email us your comments and ideas. T: 604-241-0810(PT) or E: coach@livethesolution.com. Visit our website at www.livethesolution.com. |
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