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June, 2006: Personal Tests Come in the Strangest Forms Greetings, Welcome to your fr*ee monthly e-newsletter about living the solution... not the problem! Written and published by: Dr. Toby Silverton & Dr. Bev McLagan Sent to subscribers in Canada, U.S., U.K., the Middle East and Asia. Many thanks to everyone who forwards the newsletter on. We grow through your recommendations so please keep up the good work and forward this newsletter to a few friends and colleagues.
In This Issue: Go anywhere in this issue fast by clicking on a topic.
It’s hard to avoid the constant reminders of power gone wrong every time we tune into the news. From the boardroom to politics to the environment we see blazing examples of the misuse of power. No wonder “power” has become a dirty word. The question, “do you have enough power?” these days is often equated to what figure income you are making. Sad but true. Seems though that people who have to flex their power over other less fortunate beings, or species, really don’t have much personal power. Pity, cause think of some of the power wielding biggies out there and imagine if they had true personal power what good could come in the world. Oh well, saving the world is a little big for this issue of LTS! The last few months have really tested my personal power big time. I know a lot of you understand where I am coming from having lost a parent or loved one yourself. You have to dig deep to find the resilience to face day after day on an emotional roller-coaster. Then came all the estate stuff, decision after decision until I finally broke. It was that one big decision about the floral plate, yup that was the last decision I felt I could make, and it’s still sitting on the dining room table. The big stuff was all done I was down to the plates when I quit. Our personal tests come in the strangest forms. After far too many years of academia and years of being saturated with obscure theories often written in language that defied common sense, we tend to see big concepts in simple terms. It’s just easier to translate them into everyday living… real life solutions for real life problems, in other words, living the solution! It’s so easy to feel “weakened” by some of the trials life throws our way. That’s why it’s important to remember personal power is found in the simplest ways: making decisions, being respectful of ourselves, and knowing what we stand for. When we tackle “big” psychological concepts, it’s usually the simplest of changes that can make the most profound difference. Having said that…it’s time to make the decision about the floral plate (sigh). Personal power, true personal power means feeling and being inwardly strong. Some of us have been taught to shy away from the idea of power because of the misperception that power is aggressive, manipulative and/or authoritative. It’s true, power when used inappropriately over other people can be all of the above. Not so with true personal power, it brings a sense of resilience and calmness. So how do you get there? To arrive at personal power you have to begin by acknowledging the strength you already have. Personal power comes from knowing you have all the resources you need to handle whatever life throws your way. Inner strength allows you to accept life on its own terms. When you tap into the abundance of your personal power everything is ok because you’re ok. Personal power depends upon you approving of you. Approving of yourself requires a deep level of self-knowing and self-honesty. Personal power means being who you are without any pretense and truly believing what you are saying and doing. When you live with integrity personal power is yours for the knowing, but integrity requires that your actions, words and intentions match your values. Without having clear knowledge of your values, it is next to impossible to arrive at personal power.
There’s one other thing, personal power requires taking responsibility for your life . When you deny or opt out of your personal responsibility you actually give up your decision making rights. This is not a good thing, for decision making and personal power go hand in hand. You build your life through the decisions you make, like it or not. So…if you don’t like the way life is going, or you feel powerless at times, make some new and different decisions. Take charge of your decisions and you will quickly find yourself on the path to personal power. Taking responsibility is a direct route to increasing personal power. Don’t forget the hidden gold in taking responsibility. When you take responsibility you are in charge. Whenever you allow someone to control you physically, mentally or emotionally, you hand over your personal power. At work, with your partners, friends, children, or parents, whenever you become dependent on someone else’s attitudes, judgements or beliefs to define who you are, you get caught in the net of denying your own source of personal power and inner strength. Being caught in this net works for the other person’s power, not for yours. Power plus responsibility equals prosperity. It’s simple, if I take responsibility for something and I don’t like the outcome, I can change it, do it again. If I give away responsibility for something and I don’t like the results, I sit and wait helplessly till someone else changes it. Which do you want? It’s truly that simple. You either take responsibility or you feel at the mercy of others. Take responsibility and your personal power grows. Feel victimized and the power of someone else grows. It’s all in the attitude. Personal power is yours when you believe.
Remember these 6 simple principles for increasing your personal power
Before you go, don’t forget to click on your Free Companion Tool for this issue, called 4 Easy Steps to Knowing your Values.
We thank you for being out there. We thank you for reading what we put forward in the world. There is lots of new stuff to come this year and we invite you to join us on this journey toward equilibrium and prosperity. If you would like to share any thoughts with us, we’d love to hear from you. Till next month… Embrace Life Toby and Bev You are free to use material from Live the Solution!® in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution including our website and email link. The copyright notice should read: "By Toby Silverton, PhD. and Bev McLagan, PhD. of Silverton McLagan Coaching. Contact: coach@livethesolution.com. To unsubscribe or change your email address, just go to www.livethesolution.com/lwiezine.html Did you enjoy receiving Live the Solution? If you did, please forward it to your friends and associates. We would like to hear from you, email us your comments and ideas. T: 604-241-0810(PT) or E: coach@livethesolution.com. Visit our website at www.livethesolution.com. |
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