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January, 2005 Greetings, Welcome to your fr*ee monthly e-newsletter about living the solution...not the problem! Written and published by: Dr. Toby Silverton & Dr. Bev McLagan Sent to subscribers in Canada, U.S., U.K., the Middle East and Asia. Many thanks to everyone who forwards the newsletter on. We grow through your recommendations so please keep up the good work and forward this newsletter to a few friends and colleagues.
In This Issue: Go anywhere in this issue fast by clicking on a topic.
Bev and I sincerely hope that you had a restful and happy holiday time, whichever holiday you celebrate in your life. Like John Lennon said, “Life’s what happens when you are busy making plans.” This months newsletter was all planned, and dare I say it, I think you would have been interested in it. However, you are going to have to wait to next month, cause you see, life happened to me just before Christmas (the holiday I celebrate). Tragically, my Mother was killed in a car accident on December 23rd. I’ll state the obvious, it was a tremendous shock. Worse yet, I had only 3 weeks prior taken the difficult step of ensuring that she would not continue to drive as she was 88 years old and just not mentally or physically able to safely drive. This is not an uncommon decision for a caretaker child to have to make, but it is surely a difficult one. However, I asked myself if I could live with the burden of knowing that she had killed some innocent person if she had another accident when I could have done something to prevent it. I wrote the letters and made the calls. Thank goodness I did. Although I am awash with shock, disbelief, horror, and sadness, I can at least look at myself in the mirror and know that I did the responsible and loving thing. Many of you who know me, know that my relationship with Mom (like so many daughters) was at times terrific and at times really, really difficult. It was a relationship, what more can I say. My life coach has taught me to look for the lessons in life, this lesson is truly evident. You have to look after yourself in a relationship. How many of my clients out there have heard me say, “put yourself at the top of your priority list”. If I had been “looking after her needs” I would have done nothing to stop her from driving, but I was looking out for my own needs thank goodness. If I hadn’t taken the necessary steps to stop her driving I would be sitting here today reeling with guilt and self-hatred. Instead, I am sad and, yes, angry. We make choices in our lives and I am a true believer in owning our choices. Tragically, my mom owned her bad choice to drive, when she knew she was not able or legally allowed to, in a big way. She made a choice that met her own needs but had no regard for the consequences to those who loved her. I allow myself to be angry so that I may find my way back to feeling loving. So, you can see, I just couldn’t, wouldn’t, didn’t write the newsletter that I had expected to write. But I didn’t just want to let the month pass. Connecting is the best medicine for me. And, I promise, I’m practicing everything I “preach” right now…self-care, seeking and asking for support (bless Bev and Jim, my coach), and all the other things that are helping me find a new equilibrium in this very off-balance place in my life.
Those of you who are old enough to remember Monty Python, or retro enough to seek it out, will remember this line: And Now For Something Completely Different! We also want to share with you some good news. Dr. B. just got her first seniors discount! Turning 55 in January is going to be a celebration. When she heard the news, we high fived each other and she is on the search for other such discounts! Aging doesn’t have to be something we hide from or cringe about – embrace it! One seniors discount means fresh flowers in the house for a month; a great meal out; a dozen or so special coffees…taking a friend for lunch <g>, or a discount on a great beachfront hotel room! Yup, It’s all about attitude! It’s all about life.
We thank you for being out there. We thank you for reading what we put forward in the world, and we invite you to join us next month when we embark on a year of prosperty, equilibrium, and balance. There is lots of new stuff to come. If you would like to share any thoughts with us, we’d love to hear from you. Till next month…Embrace Life Toby and Bev You are free to use material from Live the Solution!® in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution including our website and email link. The copyright notice should read: "By Toby Silverton, PhD. and Bev McLagan, PhD. of Silverton McLagan Coaching. Contact: coach@livethesolution.com. To unsubscribe or change your email address, just go to www.livethesolution.com/lwiezine.html Did you enjoy receiving Live the Solution? If you did, please forward it to your friends and associates. We would like to hear from you, email us your comments and ideas. T: 604-241-0810(PT) or E: coach@livethesolution.com. Visit our website at www.livethesolution.com. |
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