April, 2007: When that “overwhelm button” goes off!

Written and published by: Dr. Toby Silverton & Dr. Bev McLagan
                                      Silverton McLagan Coaching

Personal Reflections

Ok, fess up all of you out there, how often these days do you feel yourself hit the “overwhelm” button? That’s what we thought and it happens here to. Today felt like a prime example of the curse of the 21 st century……too much of too much. Just the usual going on: up early, check the web for news, check emails, breakfast, shower, back to laptop, make overseas call & remember time diff, check emails, hit the phones with clients, check emails and respond to all, order the tile for the bathroom, do daily admin work, it’s lunch, see the sun-run out…bank, deli, grab a sandwich, back to computer, check emails, change appointments, deal with client crisis, write a newsletter, deal with writers block, hit overwhelm button, remember advice to client on being overwhelmed, backtrack, write newsletter; check emails, realize no clean clothes for weekend away, jump on the treadmill and think (only multi-tasking allowed), back to the phone, more client calls, check emails and disconnect for the day, rummage through fridge for dinner, collapse on the couch to watch Dancing with the Stars, trip over luggage on way to bed, still no clean clothes to pack.

The thing is, this was just an ordinary day, not even one of the busier ones. Sound familiar? Oh yeah.

What are we thinking about?

When that overwhelm button went off today the result was an insightful conversation about being overwhelmed. What exactly is being overwhelmed? Should we pay attention to it? Should we take it seriously? Should it simply be expected as a part of life now? Do most of our clients experience overwhelm these days?

Got an SOS from a client this morning, a Director of a non-profit, who had “hit the overwhelm button” juggling regular work, a Board of Directors, relationship, migraines, and now an unexpected family visit from a parent for a few days! Definitely an “overwhelm” moment.

Or our client who is a property manager overseeing properties, renovations, trouble shooting, year end budgets, company partners, throw in nightschool, ski school and, oh yeah, time to relax and have a social life. Hear that buzzer? The overwhelm button just lit up.

There is the CEO of a major retailer handling everything from in-house meetings, business trips, overseeing staff and new projects, throw in his commitment to remain involved in family time, deal with life stuff, and to top it off, think about that future retirement. Therein exists those overwhelm moments.

How ‘bout our published author with a career on the rise? Schedule in book readings, interviews, actual writing, planning book 3 - add in 3 young children all homeschooled, a husband, an elderly parent requiring nursing care, where to find that mythical beast called “time for myself”. Hit that button!

We could add example after example of successful but harried clients. The thing is, our clients are really successful people who are handling their lives, chasing their dreams, working to reprioritize their values, taking the risks to change their careers or work environments, realigning their expectations of themselves, and redefining how they live out their personal success. These are our clients who choose not to live a burnout lifestyle any longer but having said that, it doesn’t preclude those “overwhelm moments”.

Sometimes we feel ashamed to admit we’ve hit the overwhelm button because we are supposed to be able to juggle it all, that’s today’s definition of success, right? But sooner or later we all get overwhelmed. The thing to remember is that being overwhelmed is temporary, fleeting even. Being “overwhelmed” is just a feeling, actually more like a bundle of feelings and thoughts that all arrive at the door at the same time and effectively shut down our thinking process. In our perfect world the bell rings, we answer the door, we deal with whatever is there. Done. Ok we said that was perfect, we usually find ourselves with heads too full of too many details, deadlines piling up, bodies pushed to their overtime limits, sleep deprivation being the norm, too many roles to remember let alone juggle and huge expectations of ourselves. And herein lies the answer. We invite more of those overwhelm moments into our lives if we are not taking care of ourselves, if we are living on that edge of burnout.

So check out Building Solutions and see what steps you can implement in your life to downsize your moments of overwhelm. Seems like these days we are all going to have them. There is a bigger question afoot here though, and that is, should we accept being overwhelmed as a way of life? But that’s a whole other topic and we’ll save it for another time ‘cause that overwhelm button just buzzed!

Building solutions

1. Recognize your early warning signs before you hit overwhelm: anything from getting fidgety to irritation to forgetting what you are doing, being unable to focus, or snapping at someone. Take a bit of time to learn your own pattern.

2. Declare it – I’m overwhelmed! If you hear that overwhelm buzzer go off – don’t keep it in your head, the alarm bells simply grow louder and we get more and more frustrated. Just say it out loud “I’m overwhelmed”, who cares who hears. Ok, now you’ve said it, now you know where you are, what can you do to move off that position?

3. Focus focus focus: make a decision about what you need to do next, just one thing. Think-staring at your toes, take one step, then another…nope don’t look down the road, that’s where “overwhelm” lurks. Until you get to a clearing in the road keep staring at your toes…one step at a time.

4. Take a brain break, right now! Feeling overwhelmed is about mental and emotional overload, so take a brain break. Even 10 minutes of doing something totally different can let your brain shift down a gear. Overload thought-jam gone.

5. Do your groundwork: Reduce overwhelm moments with prevention:
   
   • get enough sleep (4-5 hours isn’t enough for most people);
   • eat breakfast (your brain can’t think clearly without fuel);
   • eat snacks during the day and drink water, plenty of it;
   • take breaks during your day (10 minutes is not the same as a week’s vacation, others will survive and you will get more done);
   • learn to tell time (be realistic about how much you can accomplish within a 24 hour period);  

Till next month, remember…don’t ring that bell ‘cause it’s all about attitude…it’s all about life!

© 2003-2007 Silverton McLagan Coaching. All Rights Reserved

Resources – quick links to check out resources
(Clicking on the red underlined words allows you to instantly purchase all books online, without leaving your chair!)

• Learn to Say No, Fast! (2006) Toby Silverton, PhD. and Bev McLagan, PhD. Talk about the gift that keeps on giving, this one will last you a lifetime.
  http://www.livethesolution.com/products.html

• The Burnout Trap: Bounce Back from Over-Busy, Over-Tired and Overwhelmed! (2005) Toby Silverton, PhD. and Bev McLagan, PhD. http://www.theburnouttrap.com

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