May, 2007: Do salmon have more purpose than humans?

Written and published by: Dr. Toby Silverton & Dr. Bev McLagan
                                      Silverton McLagan Coaching

Personal Reflections

There are times when I really feel sympatico with those salmon who are swimming upstream – but wait…they have a purpose, they are fulfilling their life destiny, completing the cycle…on the other hand many of us humans simply appear to be battling against the current with no great heroic ending in sight. Trying to find balance or to live a simpler life these days is tantamount to throwing yourself against a waterfall. It begs to be asked, has overwhelmed become an acceptable way to live and an acceptable state of mind?

What are we thinking about?

Consider what many studies are telling us about the way we are living these days:

>>>A recent U.K. poll of more than 5,000 people reported that “modern life” was the biggest health fear. Lifestyle factors were the biggest worry, including lack of sleep, fatigue, lack of exercise and stress. Far down the poll came health concerns like second hand smoke, drinking, and food additives. This study concluded that the 24/7 society we live in is beginning to get to us. People are clearly worried about the hectic way they are living their lives.

>>>A recent Canadian survey found that workers are spending less time with their families today than they did two decades ago. Lots of research states that people don’t want to sacrifice family time to work, however, the numbers show otherwise. We are spending 45 minutes less a day with our families. Doesn’t sound like much, but over a year this adds up to almost five 40-hour work weeks. That’s significant.

>>>In an era of instant connection, we are less connected. We are spending more time alone. More often than not we don’t eat meals together as a family because of schedules and in the past watching television was something often done together but no longer. These days families have more than one television, more than one computer which means that everyone is off doing there own thing.

>>>These days many people are doing double and triple duty due to the increase in the roles in our lives. Juggling now includes work, partner, kids, and for many, aging parents. Then we have the current phenomenon of adult children returning to live at home due to economics, so once empty nesters are back to caring for a full family, including grandparents who are thrust back into parenting roles. Just writing that spells overwhelm to me.

>>>And what’s with vacation deprivation? A recent study showed that 25% of workers don’t use all their vacation days, 10% don’t take any days, and 25% plan to work while on vacation. Then we have the demand from bosses that workers stay “connected” while on vacation, meaning that electronics get packed right along with the bathing suit. It’s an order. We all need time off in order to recover from chronic stress of daily life, but it seems that even if we do get away we simply are not shifting down so although our physical bodies get some relaxation our brains are still working away on the issues at home or at work.

Here are a few other things to consider:

• over 70% of adults don’t get enough sleep
• interruptions consume 28% of a workday
• the average workday is now 8.9 hours up from a decade ago
• it takes an average of 25 minutes to return to a task once we have been interrupted
• over the past decade experts have seen a 10-fold increase in a type of work induced ADD called ADT (for trait)
• the new term is “extreme workers” for whom a workweek averages between 80-120hours/week

Living an overwhelmed life is hazardous to your health. The links between work-life overload, burnout and physical and mental health problems are absolute. The use of medications for insomnia, anxiety, and depression are common place, not to mention the increase in the use of recreational drugs to promote relaxation. Most of our clients report feeling overwhelmed, fatigued, impatient, irritable, unable to focus…ahh, let’s say just generally stretched to the max.

Finding the right work-life ratio is a personal process. Balance is different for every individual and it varies with situations and needs. Balance is never static. We can’t just “find” balance or achieve it and have it stay like that forever. Balance is always in motion like a teeter-totter or a pendulum. As we move through the arc we will pass through balance, temporarily visit imbalance, and then swing back to balance again. With clear goals that support everyday life balance, strategies to deal with daily challenges, and a true commitment to living a well-prioritized life, we have all the skills needed to keep balance in sight.

If we accept and internalize the demands of an overwhelmed and overwhelming world we will not choose priorities that sustain or encourage effective living and work/life balance. As crazy as the world is, those of us who are looking for ways to find a new equilibrium, to find balance, and to choose a different path than burnout should be applauded. Now’s the time. So stand up all of you out there…Bravo!

Building solutions

• schedule yourself regular “no work” weekends
• be religious about out of office lunch breaks
• focus on essential tasks during day, not imortant ones (our clients know these as “absolute musts”)
• unplug from digital devices on downtime
• limit amount of negativity/violence you allow into your psyche
• learn to say No
• eliminate negative, emotionally draining people from your world
• slow down, there will never be more than 24-hours
• meditate
• give up unfocused multi-tasking

Till next month, remember…catch a breather, pause a moment, simplify…it’s all about attitude…it’s all about life!

© 2003-2007 Silverton McLagan Coaching. All Rights Reserved

Resources – quick links to check out resources
(Clicking on the red underlined words allows you to instantly purchase all books online, without leaving your chair!)

• Learn to Say No, Fast! (2006) Toby Silverton, PhD. and Bev McLagan, PhD. Talk about the gift that keeps on giving, this one will last you a lifetime.
  http://www.livethesolution.com/products.html

• The Burnout Trap: Bounce Back from Over-Busy, Over-Tired and Overwhelmed! (2005) Toby Silverton, PhD. and Bev McLagan, PhD. http://www.theburnouttrap.com

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